Friends & Neighbors
I lived in San Diego in Southern California for more than 25 years
before moving to Santa Cruz in Northern California in 2002. It was
quite a leap! I left behind many friends.
Some of those friendships I have maintained through email, occasional
visits and the rare phone call (I hate phones!). Many friends from my
San Diego years have dropped by the wayside, however, from neglect both
on my part and theirs. That’s life. It happens anywhere and everywhere.
Friends come and go.
While spending my last two years in the United States in Santa Cruz, I
made a few new friends but not many. Santa Cruz is a college town, and
as I have grown older, I have lost some patience with younger folks.
They seem so “flighty” (as well they should be) and so concerned with
mundane “pop culture” and themselves (as well they should be) that they
just don’t hold much interest for me. Cute to observe occasionally, but
not anyone I would want to get to know in depth, I’m afraid. Whatever
would we talk about? The latest TV sitcom? I hardly ever watch
television anymore, and certainly not sitcoms!
(Yeah, yeah, I know. I am generalizing an entire generation. There are
certainly young people in the United States “worthy” of my interest.
The fault, dear Brutus, lies more with me than with them.)
Now I have left Santa Cruz and moved completely out of the United
States — to Costa Rica. A small town in the central part of Costa Rica,
in fact, far off the beaten path of tourists and even most Ticos (that
is the name Costa Ricans use to refer to themselves).
So who do I have for friends now? You might be surprised! Many of them
are folks just like me!
I have come to know many Ticos. They are warm, welcoming, helpful,
generous people quick to smile and share small pleasures with anyone,
neighbor or stranger. The majority appear genuinely to like those of us
from the United States. There aren’t too many places in the world where
that is true anymore, thanks in large part to the arrogance and
obnoxious behavior of the current United States President.
As a Tico friend finally admitted to me — after quite a bit of coaxing
on my part (because Ticos are not given to bragging on themselves or
their country. They are modest to a fault and see brogadocio as a sign
of “mal educación.”) — Ticos, unlike many people in Latin
America, actually like folks from the United States "because we aren’t
jealous of them. We know we live in a paradise."
I have lived in Grecia, this small city of 10,000 nice folks, for a
little more than two months. I have met several expatriates from the
United States and other countries who live here.
There is Janet from New Mexico, a cafetalera (coffee farmer) who has
lived here as a single mom with a 14-year-old daughter for many years.
There is Lynn, a woman from Seattle who was married to a Tico and has a
daughter. She, her daughter and grandchild live in an even smaller town
nearby, where Lynn dabbles in real estate.
There are my neighbors, who share two of the other three apartments in
this beautiful, new building. (A young Tico couple will be moving into
the fourth apartment just as soon as they get married.)
Lawrence is in his 70s, originally from New Jersey, and has lived here
for many years with a Nicaragua woman about half his age. They are
delightful and very good neighbors.
Donald is from upstate New York, is almost 70, and lives alone in the
apartment below. He’s been here for almost ten years and still speaks
hardly a word of Spanish but manages to get along just fine.
My landlord is an Israeli immigrant who used to live in the United
States. He speaks excellent English, owns at least one business here,
and is married to Ana, a Tica who speaks almost no English but will
speak Spanish very slowly to help you understand. They have three
children, two darling little girls and a handsome, intelligent,
teenaged son who speaks excellent English and loves to practice it.
Yesterday, for the first time, I met the “park gang.” This is a group
of gringos (that is the name Costa Ricans use to refer to people from
other countries, no matter which one, and it is not consider derogatory
in the least).
The “park gang” meets every morning on the benches of the Parque
Central to solve all the world’s problems. When everyone has arrived,
the group walks a couple of blocks to a small soda (mom and pop
café) in the Mercado Comercial to drink coffee and fruit drinks
together.
On Monday, the group included Robert, a man in his 80s who has lived
here for almost 40 years, is married to a Tica, and has two grown,
totally bilingual sons, one of whom lives in California and the other
an attorney for the national daily newspaper. Originally from North
Carolina, he has managed to hang on to his southern accent. A solid
Democrat!
Three other men and a woman also joined the group. Irvin in almost 80
and has lived here for nine years. He lives alone but appears to know
everyone quite well. Ann is in her early 70s and moved here from San
Diego this past summer. She has just purchased new hearing aids here
and is delighted with them. She said the cost was less than half what
it would have been in the States.
There are a few people here from other countries besides the United
States. Quite a few from Canada. Others from the United Kingdom,
Netherlands and Germany. Down the block lives a family from Italy who I
have yet to meet (but will. Lynn from Seattle knows them and plans to
introduce us. This IS a fairly small town, after all, so everyone knows
everyone else — or their brother.)
What I like most about the other expatriates I have met here is that
they are, without exception, exceptional people. Unique, free-thinking,
brave, intelligent, with good humor and a sense of adventure.
And guess what? Although none of the ones I have met are gay (as far as
I know), they are very accepting of gay people. I have more in common
with them than I do with many gay people my age in the United States.
There ARE other gay expatriates living in Costa Rica. I just haven’t
met them yet, although — good “private investigator” that I am and good
“googler” — I know who they are! I have met quite a few gay Ticos, both
men and women. They, like their nongay fellow citizens, are a joy to be
around.
