Lair Davis (Our Man in Costa Rica)

Remember Lair Davis? He was the founding editor of several queer newspapers including the San Diego Gayzette (1982), Gay Times (1988) and Gay/Lesbian Nation (1990). Lair moved on to other community challenges in San Diego before moving to Santa Cruz. In June 2004, the award-winning “Lair About Town” columnist retired to the tropics of Costa Rica. HillQuest is tickled and proud to return Lair to San Diego every week to share his views and ideas. Feel free to email him.

March 11, 2005

I am a Nicotinic

Larry King asked Ann Richards, the former governor of Texas, if she missed being in politics.

Ann responded, “Larry, it’s a cigarette I miss!”

“How long ago did you quit smoking, Ann?” Larry asked.

“Oh, about 20 years ago,” she said.

I smoked for 50 years. I was a poor hippie back in the 1960s, and when I ran out of cigarettes, with no money to buy more, I would pull nasty butts out of the ashtrays in my car — or any other cars I could find that were unlocked. I would light those butts and suck down that burning, awful-tasting smoke in order to assuage my addiction. When the butts in the ashtrays were too short to light, I would walk around the block — sometimes in the middle of the night — and gather up cigarette butts from the gutters. I would come home and smoke them to ease my craving.

I also smoked marijuana in those days. I sometimes could not afford to buy it, either. However, I never resorted to the tactics necessary to feed my nicotine habit. Marijuana is habit-forming; nicotine is addictive. Big difference, that! You know which one our culture chooses to make illegal, don’t you?

Marijuana is a weed. It will grow anywhere. If if were legal, you could smoke it anytime whether you had much money or not. Nobody would get rich growing marijuana — unless, of course, it were illegal. Then, there is mucho dinero to be made!

Tobacco is a crop. You must cultivate it. It costs money to produce it. It makes money for its growers and all those folks who turn those big brown leaves into pretty little cigarettes.

I tried to quit smoking tobacco any number of times without success. It never seemed to work. When I decided to quit smoking marijuana — it had become so expensive that I couldn’t justify the cost of the pleasure — I just didn’t smoke it anymore. Oh sure, sometimes I would think, “Gee, I should would like to get high today,” but never to the point that I found myself walking the streets in the middle of the night looking for marijuana roaches in the gutters outside rock clubs.

I was angry at the people and the culture who never ceased pressuring me to quit. I did start thinking, however, about how I really would quit some day — not today, just some day. I didn’t concentrate on it. I just subconsciously let that idea fester in my head somewhere.

One morning I awoke, and rather than light up that first cigarette while waiting for the coffee to be ready, I thought, “I’ll have it later.”

I didn’t dwell on it. I didn’t think, “I will see how long I can go before I light one up.” I just said, “I’ll have it later.”

That was two years ago, and I am still going to have that cigarette — later. I haven’t quit, mind you. I am a nicotinic.

As I went about my daily business, knowing that “later” I would have that cigarette, the pack continued to lay right there on the bar. I left the ashtrays scattered throughout the house, still full of butts and ashes. I left them there for more than six months before I finally threw the cigarettes, the butts, the ashes and the ashtrays in the trash. No big production, either. I just threw them in the garbage can one day.

I smoked for 50 years. 50 YEARS!

Two months after not smoking that cigarette on that morning two years ago, I had a heart attack. I now have two stents in my heart. I will be on medication for the remainder of my life — medication that costs as much as I used to spend on cigarettes, by the way.

I feel better than I have ever felt. I eat well and enjoy the taste of my food. I have lost more than 50 pounds without trying.

I am rootin’ for you, all you nicotinics out there. Just have that cigarette later, why don’t you?

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Interested in your own trip to Costa Rica? Get off the “tourist trail” while $aving time/money with your own travel consultant. Lair would love to help you plan your holiday of a lifetime. He’ll even be your guide in his tropical paradise! Email him to discuss your trip.